DOCTOR DEMENTIA AND THE JEWEL

When Sherry left the office she was in tears. I watched her leave wondering how the hell I could help her. I knew absolutely nothing about internet romance. I knew nothing about the internet at all. From school I had gone into residency at a hospital. That particular hospital specialized in the treatment of the emotionally disturbed. I spent hours and hours directing group sessions or counseling disturbed people. Most of them were alcoholic housewives whose kids had left the nest. Chemical addictions, I understood pretty well. Sherry's problem seemed to almost be addiction which is why she was referred to me.

Private practice had been hard at first. Too many expenses and not enough patients almost put me into counseling. It did force me to work nights in a local emergency room. Grief counseling was hard. Nobody wants to deal with death almost every night. The money was needed but it kept me far too busy to participate in the recreational aspects of the web.

After I got the practice on its feet, I found I was bored. I tried marriage, but it was even more boring than working three jobs had been. It took me a couple of years of hiding my feelings, before I was ready to admit that it just didn't work for me.

My ex-husband Jarrett found a new woman quickly. Probably too quickly but I didn't care. I just didn't care pretty much summed up the marriage as well as the ending of it.

I took a look at the office computer. I had spent very little time on it since my school days. The little I did use the internet was to send my reports to a transcription service. I recorded them on some kind of audio thing that the service provided. Then I uploaded the audio to their site. They typed the reports then sent them to my receptionist who printed them out. It seemed to work well enough so I never questioned it.

I had something else in mind that evening. Since Sherry had been my final patient I decided to give the internet a look. I had never really taken a good look at the home page of my provider before. I found that it contained news items and several different specialty sections. I had no use for the horoscope or the movie star gossip. I found the chat site easily enough. I decided that their site would be harmless so I gave it a look.

The site first asked me to sign on or sign up. I tried to use my provider code, but found I needed a new identity for the chat rooms. I had no idea what user name meant so I put my own name in. I chose a password then was off to the chat room list. Choosing a room of my own age group seemed like a reasonable first stop.

I was fascinated from the first moment. It was like magic seeing words appear on the screen. Each piece of broken English was a person sitting at a computer somewhere. The words were a code pretty much like redneck southern English I decided. Since the hospital where I trained was in the south I recognized it immediately.

After responding to the greetings I sat back to watch. That first night I understood little of what was happening. Still, it kept me fascinated for two hours. I broke my eye contact with the screen only long enough to drink cup after cup of coffee.

I tried to respond when I was addressed but I surely missed some of them. I knew because I was chided about it often. The remarks might have been cutting but they were almost always accompanied by the lol. I had to ask what it meant. I hated to admit what a novice I was. I closed the computer at nine. I did it so that I could make it home in time for a few minutes of relaxing before bed.

That night I slept poorly for some reason. Two names from the chat room stood out in my mind. I had seemed to sense they were troubled individuals. I didn't need to begin trying to treat people I knew nothing about. Especially since I couldn't charge them. It was at that moment that I realized that I had become more than a bit mercenary. Still you can't help people who won't ask for it. It was possible that they were asking in their own way. It might have been why I honed in on them. At that moment I remember Sherry saying everyone lied on the net. With that thought I was able to dismiss it all. With my mind clear I finally drifted off to sleep.

The next day half way through a session with a doctor's wife I realized why I was bored to tears. Treating upper middle class housewife alcoholics was definitely a bore. They almost never had a new problem. Most of them suffered from too much money and too much free time. 'The one thing they needed I could never give them. The struggle was missing from their lives. They were on a slow motion journey to the grave.

My receptionist Judy and I had a deal. She left at five but only after seeing in the five o'clock appointment. Until the patient was in my office Judy stayed. That particular day my five o'clock was late.

"Judy, tell me do you ever go onto the internet?" I looked away as though I wasn\'92t really interested.

"Sure, I read the newspaper up there. No sense paying for a paper when I can get it free."

"I have a patient who is hooked on chat rooms. Do you ever go into them?" I glanced up at her.

"Sure, chat rooms can be fun. I try to stay with the family ones though. The theme ones can be a little rough for my taste."

"Rough?" I asked.

"Sure, they tend to get too graphic sometimes. I mean the sex ones. Some of the others, like the medieval role play ones, are just plain silly. I guess there might be some that are for car nuts too. I really don't know."

"I think the patient goes to those sex rooms." I looked down to my notes as though I was reading.

"Well you do specialize in addiction. I expect those can be addictive, if you are inclined to be over sexed."

"She swears it is not about sex. According to her it is about illusion. Romance, if you will." I looked up to punctuate the sentence.

"I don't know Doc. I went into some of them. It was always about sex when you cut through the bullshit."

"I see. I guess I will have to do some research to find out what she is up to. I have no idea how all that works."

"Well, if you need a guide I would be happy to steer you to a couple of less blatant ones."

"I thought you stayed away from them?" It was a thinly veiled question and she knew it.

"Change that to, I 'mostly' stay away from them. Sometimes I get a little er, er anxious."

I almost asked her what anxious meant but it dawned on me after a couple of seconds. I nodded my understanding. I forced myself not to smile or agree.

"Thanks Judy, but I think I will pass." What I didn't say was that I had the name of a very good room according to Sherry. I had decided the night before to slip into the room. I told myself it was just to watch Sherry. She had led me to believe she was there every night.

It was almost eight when my final patient left. I moved to sit at Judy's computer again. I called up the internet then entered the address of the site Sherry had given me.

Again I had to join. I got most of the way through the form before I was asked my email address. I most certainly did not want to give them the office email. I closed the window.

I slipped back to the chat room from my provider I watched the occupants greet each other over and over. The novelty wore of quickly. The people talked about almost nothing. It seemed as though the tenuous human contact was the only appeal. I thought to myself that sitting at a Mcdonalds would do as well.

I decided to set up a dummy email then register with the chat Sherry attended. It had to be more interesting than any of the rooms at my provider\'92s site. The email address was a breeze to set up. I felt very smart until I realized that high school students did the same things all the time. They probably did them faster and with less thought as well.
When I returned to the erotic chat, I was armed with a brand-new email address. Joining the site was easy. I took Sherry's advice. I lied like a con man or in my case woman.

The chat room I was dumped into was a lobby room. It was no more than a stop along the way to other rooms. I opened the list of rooms to pick a spot. I explored all the buttons before I made a move. The options were many and some seemed pretty strange.

I settled into a room whose name seemed to describe the things Sherry talked about. I noticed how similar the room seemed to all the others at first glance. It was no more than a long list of greetings one after another. The difference seemed to be the addition of Sir or Ma'am to some names. It appeared that others got the greeting of Sis. It soon became clear that there was a hierarchy of some sort in the room. I had no idea what the basis was. I did know I should not ask so I just kept quiet. I sat back to observed. After an hour I thought I understood the workings. There seemed to be two classes. The men were mostly Dominant and the women mostly submissive. There were exceptions it seemed but few.

I watched for two hours with not much more than greetings between the submissive women. There were some dull role play games as well. It was the way the subbies seemed to interact with the dominant males. Subs playing waitress for the Dominants seemed about all the public interaction.

I had no idea how any of it could be addictive. It wasn't a drug surely. I shut down the web site. I file my nightly audio reports. They would be typed over night as was always the case.

I returned to the sex site just for a couple of minutes before I signed off for the night. It was pretty much the same as before. Seemingly not much going on at all.

I did pick up a couple of things from the conversations. It seemed the submissive women did not approve of private conversations. The conversations of the subbies chastising those trying to converse with them in private left me wondering why nobody had tried to talk to me in private. When I looked at the difference in our names, I realized that I might sound like a Dominate male. I had chosen the name Dr.Dementia. I gave some thought to changing it, but decided I didn't want to talk to guys anyway. I was simply in the room to observe. After only a few minutes I shut down the chat room and the computer.

On the way home I stopped at the grocery store for takeout from its salad bar. I also picked up two large bread sticks.

I usually had dinner in front of the TV. I almost did it again from habit. Instead I switched on my computer. My computer at home was an older model laptop. I had bought it simply to file reports on the internet. If I had an especially bad day, I would come home to dictate the reports.

I found myself at the chat site rather than filing reports. I really didn't have any reports to file anyway. I picked at my salad while the site came up. I sat back reading the monitor as I ate my dinner.

I again noticed my name appear on the screen. It was immediately met by, "Hello DD". It came from several of the females. Even a man spoke. It was my guess that I had been in enough times without causing any trouble to finally be recognized.

I returned all the greetings. Then came one that floored me. "Hello DD Sir" the greeting came from a submissive named lois. She always greeted the new arrivals. It was at that point that I should have set them straight. Why I didn't, I have no idea. I hope it was shock, not the fact that I enjoyed the role I was thrust into.

I am a quick study so I knew how to do the greeting thing. "Thank you lois. It is nice to be recognized." I could not believe that it came from me. I was about to go along with the mistake. I had capitalized the letters because it was correct English. I had no idea it would turn me into a dominant male.

"You should have said something DD." It was someone calling himself the Master of Darkness who spoke.

"I had no idea it was necessary for one to explain his position. If people do not recognize it. He is surely not what he pretends to be." That little remark started a fire storm.

After the first, "This is not real life how is one to recognize a Dominant in the ether." I knew I should defend myself. I also knew better than any of them the power of imagery.

"If your presence does not speak for itself, then nothing you say will convince anyone." Geese I loved that line. Suddenly it was the subbies jumping into the fray. There were collared subbies doing battle with uncollared ones. They switched sides along the way I think.

When the shouts died down, it was evident I had made some friends and some enemies. It was obvious, even to me, that the lines would not long remain in the sand. In just three days I had seen groups form, break up, and reform with every new subject of conversation. I wasn't sure what the dynamics were but it was fascinating to watch.

I told myself that I was just looking for Sherry, or maybe trying to get a handle on her fascination with the place. I didn't like admitting that I was beginning to enjoy the recognition from the others. I shouldn't have, since I was not who they thought.

I stayed in the room longer than I should have because the others began talking to me. I talked to them off and on during the night but I mostly listened. I expressed my opinions only when asked. Then only after stopping to think how my ex-husband would have answered. I had been fascinated enough to stay up past midnight.

For the next several days I worked during the day then played in the chat room at night. I did not approach anyone. A few of the women sent me private messages me to ask questions. The questions were no more than my age or where I was located. I pretty much kept my distance from the others.

I had begun to feel something was missing. I knew that others were doing an interactive sexual thing somewhere. Sherry assured me that it was more than simple masturbation but I had my doubts. Sherry's sessions went long as I asked her about people in the room. It was hard to disguise the fact that I recognized the names she mentioned.

"So Sherry, have you done this thing that is more than simple masturbation with anyone in the room?" I asked it looking at my notebook lest I give myself away.

"Sure, that is how I know that it is more." It was logical.

I tried to re-ask the question. "So tell me, what are these men like that makes it different." I thought that might get her moving.

"Well most of them are no more than dirty-minded teenagers." She giggled at the thought.

"You don't literally mean you are having even pretend sex with teenagers.?" I wasn't at all shocked.

"No Doctor, but they act like it sometimes. There is only one who acts like he knows how I feel."

"Really?" I asked it hoping for the name.

"Yes really, but he doesn't come around much anymore. I think we bored him." The giggle was gone when she spoke.

"What is so special about that one?" I asked it hoping she wouldn't be curious as to why I asked.

"Oh, he is just special. I expect you would have to meet him to know." I could see her eyes glow as she spoke.

"Have you met this man other than on the computer?" I asked it knowing it was still within the realm of a doctor, patient type question.

"Not in real, I am not sure he wants to meet any of us in real life."

"So why is this one special?" It was the second time I asked the question the same way. I prided myself on usually being able to change up the way I asked.

"You will just have to trust me Doc, this one is special. All the women in the room love him and all the men hate him." She smiled knowingly.

I almost asked for an explanation but I knew better. If she could have explained it, she would have. I changed the subject, to her father. She and I continued to talk about the father until her time was finished.

I hurried through my dictation before I left the office. I did not go to the chat room until I was home. I even put it off until I had finished dinner. I sat at the dining room table with the laptop glowing as I called up first the net, then the chat room.

When I entered, I was again greeted by the long list of subbies. I looked for anyone who I thought might be either Sherry or her mystery man. Since I dared not question anyone, I had no idea which one of the subbies Sherry might be.

I stayed in the room three hours that night. I was beginning to learn not only the people but the language as well. As before, I still spoke seldom. Now and again someone would send me a private message to which I answered as best I could.

The next few days were pretty much the same. The only difference being the number of private messages, I received. After about ten straight days in the room I was considered a regular. I even thought I might have some of the subbie women coming on to me. Of course I avoided them.

On the eleventh straight night I had been there he blew into the room. I mean he stormed in and shook the room to its core. The man could have been a troll the way he caused the stir. The difference was that the stir was not about fighting or upsetting people. It was about dominating the Doms. It took me only a second or so to realize the man was different from all the others.

The first tip off was he typed with blinding speed. His mind had to be running a mile a minute. If he hadn\'92t so coherent I would have thought him on speed. He carried on three conversations at the same time, and he provided the humor in each of them. Sentences flew onto the screen and people could only answer with the tired abbreviation for laugh out loud or roll on the floor laughing. The man dominated the room until suddenly he grew quiet, the quiet was almost audible. Everyone seemed to be holding their breath waiting for round two to begin. I thought he must have run out of steam. I found that I sat on the edge of my chair in wonder of him. He had all the confidence a man should have. Not the paper confidence that I and the others were faking but real confidence.

I messaged one of the subs, who had spoken to me privately, "Who was that man?" I asked it trying to hurry her along with my mind. I wanted an answer before he started up again.

"He is the Deacon. Tonight he is Deacon Three. That means he is trying out a character for his next book. He was Deacon one for a couple of months while he wrote it. Then he was Deacon two while he worked on that one. As always he disappeared for a while, he does that when he is about to finish a book or story."

"Well damn, he knows how to work a room that is for sure." I messaged her.

"You should see him when jewel is here. The two of them have half a dozen different conversations going, and talk to each other. When they come in together, the room is just spell bound."

"So who is Jewel? I haven't met her." I messaged it to her.

"Not Jewel honey jewel, she is an uncollared sub. I would bet she will be here any minute."

"Oh, is she his sub?" I asked it before I realized the woman had already answered it.

"No, like I said she is uncollared. She just somehow senses he is here."

"Well, the noise he makes must be heard all over the chat site," I replied.

"He is loud, no doubt about it. The other Doms say he is brash and arrogant even for a Dom."

"Oh is he a Dom?" I asked

"He doesn't say. He tells us all to make up our own mind. Only a fool gives himself a title and only a bigger fool respects it. That is what he says."

The3Deacon had to be Sherry's mystery man. He just shouted sexual energy. She would have thought it just her. When The3Deacon came out of hiding suddenly, it was on again. He went slowly that time. It was obvious he was running on slow so the mortals in his audience could keep up. With the slowdown the obvious flirting of the uncollared subs began. It was obvious to the other Doms as well as me. They tried to come forth with snide remarks. The3Deacon turned them into jokes, exactly as he did the subbie advances. That outburst lasted only a few minutes then he grew quiet again for a long time.

Without any warning or preface the message, "Live Long And Prosper 'V' " came on the screen and he was gone. I was rocked to the core. The man had shaken not only me but several of the others as well.

"At least Jewel wasn't with him," One of the Dom's said.

"Yeah, those two can take over a room for as long as they choose to stay. Can't get a damn word in edge wise."

Suddenly it became important that I say something. "Personally I was blown away. It was my first time." It came out all wrong I should have edited it first.

"Well the Deacon gets another virgin," wrote one of the subbies. There were ten LoL entries at least.

"Usually it is the simpering subbies who feel that way," one of the Doms wrote.
"So is it simpering subbie to recognize a fellow with wit and presence?" I asked it of the room in general.

"Absolutely not Sir," was the reply from a not too shy subbie.

"She is right. The Deacon is probably the wittiest man who comes in here. I just wish jewel would come on without him. She is a blast." The subbies pretty much stuck together on that one. It seemed that standing up for The3Deacon was a major move. I found that even the friendly Doms took a few days to get over it. On the other hand, the subbies got even more friendly.

I went off to bed with The3Deacon occupying my mind. I don't think I dreamed about him but I might have. I don't always remember my dreams.

The subbie insinuation was that he would be back for a few more nights. He would either be on a break from wrestling with his novel, or resting from it. According to halfrose he would be back until he grew bored with the room. I realized when I arrived the next night that I was excitedly anticipating his arrival.

I noticed the name jewel on the list. She didn't greet me when I entered. I was a little surprised since the subbies always greeted the Doms. I know, I wasn't a Dom but she didn't know that.

Around nine o'clock, The3Deacon came roaring into the room. Suddenly jewel came to life. The two of them dominated every conversation. I tried to just sit back and observe. It was impossible. The two of them drew everyone into the conversation. In my case it was jewel who said," Doc, The3Deacon will soon be at that age."

"What age?" I asked.

"Why, the age so that you can make a few bucks on him."

Without thinking I found myself answering. "Sorry jewel, I don't work with that kind of dementia."

"Oh, and what kind of dementia do I need in order to have you as my doctor?"

"I don't know, what kind do you have?" I asked. Suddenly people were laughing with me.

"Just about all of them I 'spect," he answered.

"Hell Doc, if The Deacon don't have it, he can fake it." That came from another Dom.

"That is certainly true Doc. I couldn't pay until I find the perfect publisher. You would trust me for it wouldn't you?"
"I don't think I could trust a man with Dementia." I replied.

"Don't worry Doc, wouldn't be no trust to it. The Deacon ain't never gonna find a publisher." jewel did the writing on that one.

"jewel honey I am hurt. You know it is just a matter of time."

"It might be Deacon, my love, if you ever sent a book to them."

"Well sweetie, I would have to get used to being rich. Hell, I just now got used to being poor."

"Well, if rich bothers you I can help with that," I typed.

"Oh you can help me adjust?" the Deacon asked.

"No, I can take away all your money." That one brought the room to a stand still.

"Ah the medical profession has spoken. Unfortunately now I have to run." The Deacon had been flying all over the room while he carried on the conversation with me.

"Deacon, don't you dare leave without speaking to me." jewel wrote those words.

"Jewel, my love, meet me on the pier." The Deacon slipped away with only his usual exit line. "Live Long and Prosper 'V'."

"Geese, what the hell was that," a newby asked.

"That was the Deacon and his whore." It was one of the Dom's who usually ruled the room who spoke.

"Just one fucking minute, I would rather be the Deacon's whore, than anybody else's Mistress." jewel said it on her way out the door.

I managed to get the message window open before she left the room. As long as she stayed on the site the message would find her.

"Hi, I hate to bother you. I am trying to find out a little about your friend The3Deacon? Would you talk to me please?" It seemed to be as good a message as any.

"Sir, if you plan to attack my friend, I would prefer you did not speak to me."

"I do not plan to attack him. I am fascinated by all this. Is he really a writer? I write some too." It was the only reason I could think for a man to be asking about another man.

"He would ask you to define writer, that is the kind of man he is. Everything has to be defined since ambiguity drives him mad. Yes he is a writer. Couldn't you tell?"

"Yes I could, It is the reason I am asking you. Can you get in touch with him when he is not in the room? I would like to give him the name of a publisher who might want to print his books. That is, if they are as intense as the man."

"I have read his books and they are not. He writes mystery novels. They are interesting, but only just."

"Well then the publisher might not be interested." I could tell she was moving slowly for some reason I did not understand.

"You have to understand about the Deacon. He doesn't write to be published. He writes to stay sane."

"Really, that is up my alley. Why does he feel he will go insane if he does not write?"

"The Deacon's mind goes off in a hundred directions at once. Sanity is not his strong suit."

"Oh well then maybe I should just forget it."

"That might well be for the best."

"Tell me? Why you do not want him to be published?" I asked it pretty sure it was a good guess.

"Not me Sir, I fear the Deacon would not take the offer kindly. He is absolutely sure that he will be forced to do everything himself. He is positive that no one understands him. He says, even that does not make him an artist."

"All right then, tell me about you?" I had hoped to catch her by surprise. It had not worked at all. She came out with the standard chat room information....35/f/oh subbie...

"Very good, what is your relationship with this Deacon?"

"We were once lovers. Now we are friends."

"You mean he was your Master."

"Yes, but he would never admit it. He never admits he is a Dom."

"Is he ashamed?" I asked it very much curious.

"Sir, no offense but the other Doms are just game players. They have found a different game to play. The Deacon is pure Dominant Alpha male. It has nothing to do with games or control of people. When the Deacon walks into a room people feel his presence. I am sorry and I do not mean to offend you."

"You do not offend me. How do you know the others are just players."

"I am sorry sir, but I feel the presence of Deacon. I do not feel the others, not even you."

"Do you stay in contact with this Deacon person when he is not flitting into our room?" Why I said our room, I did not know.

"I can find him, if I want, I have his email and his instant messenger call name. I seldom use either. As he said, \'91our time has come and gone.\'92"

"Then perhaps I may spend some time with you." I said it to stay in touch. At least I thought I did. I had serious doubts that the Deacon would be interested in getting to know another Male Dom. If I could determine how to speak to him alone from Jewel, I could possibly arrange a meeting with him as myself.

"Sir, I am not very good company I am afraid."

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

"It has to do with my expectations these days."

"Explain please," I demanded.

"Most of the Doms here, at one time or another, want to have cyber sex. I get terribly bored with them. I am afraid I insult them."

I suppose somewhere in the back of my mind I had known jewel was Sherry. I knew it was unethical for me to be doing so, but I was about to lie like a dog to her. My defense was that I didn't know for sure it was Sherry. It just seemed as though it might be her.

"So you don't want to talk to me because somewhere down the line you might insult me. What if I promise, I won't let you insult me."

"And how would you stop me Sir?" I could tell somehow she had just laughed.

"Stop laughing at me. I will not ask you to have sex. You will ask me."

"What makes you think I was laughing?" It was her only answer.

"I heard you damnit." I have no idea why I said it. I just did.

"Yes Sir, I am sorry Sir." Her words were suddenly different.

I could feel the surprise in her words. I was experiencing something I would not have believed possible. I was reading her emotions from the words she typed on a screen. Suddenly at that point I saw my name and was reminded that I had spoken of Dementia in the room. I wondered if Sherry would figure it out. If so, I decided to simply deny it for a while then get lost. Sherry wasn't the brightest coin in the stack. Odds were I could fool her.

Which brought me to my doubts again, could Sherry possibly pull off the jewel persona. The jewel persona was witty. Hell, the woman could out think me.

Jewel and I spent almost an hour getting to know each other. The problem was that I was lying like hell. Of course I expected that she was too. When I finally signed off, I was drained. I slept without even turning over that night.

The next day was unbelievably long. When it finally ended, I could not wait to get to the computer. I went quickly to the chat room to await either The3Deacon or jewel. It was jewel who showed up. She and I went to a private conversation for two hours. We stopped talking only to get drinks and take bathroom breaks. I told her mostly truth but laced it with enough lies to throw her off track. I assumed she did the same.

I also spent a lot of time discussing The3Deacon with her. If she realized my real interest was in him, she never let on. When the conversation ended around eleven, I realized I had not eaten since lunch. I wasn't a bit hungry. The loss of the dinner calories wouldn't hurt me I knew.

That night set a pattern. I would spend most of my time with Jewel getting to know her and at the same time prying information about The3Deacon from her. Whenever I saw Sherry in real life, we discussed her addiction to the net in a new light. I was no longer trying to break it as much as to have her accept it. I might have done the same with a person addicted to any reasonably harmless act.

I caught myself doing it on the third visit. I realized I could no longer treat her. I packed Sherry off to another counselor. I stopped seeing jewel as Sherry. I had convinced myself that jewel was much too beautiful and intelligent a person to be Sherry.

It must have been over two weeks before jewel dropped a hint about something called Magicgame. The hint was simply that she and The3Deacon had spent an entire evening together on a blanket. I rushed to ask if she had met him. I was filled with hundreds of questions for her.

"No, I never met him. We played a game he calls Magicgame."

Since she couldn't see the curious look on my face, I took a deep breath then wrote. "Explain please."

"You want me to explain Magicgame. I doubt that I can Sir." I thought she might be ducking the question.
"Jewel, that was not a request." I had begun being stern with her now and again. I had no idea why, but I had begun to think of her as a patient. She exhibited no desire to change her status. I just got it in my mind to change her. I also realized that I didn't want to change her too soon.

"Yes Sir, but Magicgame is not a game with rules Sir. The3Deacon just talks to me and I get carried away. It is like I see what he is describing. Then after a while I slip into a fog and I feel it."

"Ah, in this fog did you and the Deacon have sex?"

"Sir, it is not appropriate to discuss that with you," she replied.

"And why not?" I asked.

"Because, I do not wish to compare one lover with another."

I was stunned. I had never thought of jewel as anything more than a source of information. Suddenly I had to rethink the situation before I said another word.

"I see jewel that is fair. I will not ask you about sex with the Deacon again." I was dying to know about the game and of course about the Deacon. It was late so we parted with a few words of goodbye..

The idea of a Magicgame fascinated me even though I did not believe it possible. It was impossible of course to see through the Deacons eyes. It was however possible to visualize an image based on another's description of it. I had never known anyone who could do such a thing. If jewel could, she would be interesting to observe. It seemed that I was still trying to justify my friendship with the woman.

Even the justifications I tried to invoke could not stand up to the harsh fact that I was a fraud. If nothing else, I was telling her the biggest lie of all. She not only thought I was a man, but a Dominant man. It was all so comical yet sad. Even as I perpetuated the fraud, I knew how despicable it was. The one saving-grace was that no one of any real importance would ever know. It would never do for a counselor to be caught playing at gender switch. It would for sure damage my credibility.

Every day I rushed home to contact jewel on the computer. We talked over and over again about The Deacon and his magicgame. Jewel agreed to show me the magic game when the time was right. It seemed to drag on. I had a feeling she was prolonging it for some purpose of her own.

People in the room began to either guess or were told in private that I was spending my time with jewel. I had a suspicion, that jewel was trying to make the Deacon jealous. I just didn't know how he would learn since he almost never spent time in the room.

The magicgame slipped up on me even after a month of inquiring about it. It started with a simple.

"You know I have a yellow convertible? Have you ever ridden in a convertible.? Jewel began the conversation.

"Why yes I have."

"Then you must remember what it is like to ride in one on a foggy night What it sounds like to hear the windshield wipers slap against the damp glass, to feel the tenuous grip of the tires on the road, to feel your muscles tighten as the tires slip ever so slightly in the turns, how the tires sing on the road?"

I suddenly found myself sitting in the seat beside jewel. Hearing the sounds, sensing the movements, as she described them.

"You must know how it feels when the car finally stops. What it is like to open the door then to step into the damp parking lot."

She suddenly slipped into another voice. "Careful Master the parking lot is slippery. The oil from the cars you know."

"You don't have to open the door for me Sir, but I thank you."

Without thinking I answered. "It is a Master's duty to protect his sub."

"Thank you Sir, then may I hold your hand as we walk onto the pier."

"Of course," I replied. It was as though I were talking to her face to face.

She took me for a walk on the pier. She pointed out things as we went. I could see and feel all she mentioned. In the end I explored her body in front of the fishermen. I hate to admit it but I had an orgasm."

As I sat shaking and shaken she wrote. "That Dr. is magicgame."

"Role play?" I asked.

"Oh, were you someone else? You would be in role play." I could hear her chuckle. It seemed the game was continuing.

Suddenly without warning she disappeared. I waited for a half hour to see if she had been booted. She did not return that night.

When I found her the next night, I asked, "What is so special about that game?"

"Surely you know what is different. It is not role play and it certainly is not cybersex. If you don't recognize that, then you haven't done much of either." She was right of course I had done neither.

I tried both over the next two weeks. During that time I also spoke with jewel. She had been correct the game with her was much different.

All the time it was going on, I was getting more and more involved with the woman. I didn't want to, but I was getting very much enamored with her. I had never thought of myself as even remotely capable of having an affair with a woman. I began to think more and more of that possibility.

Jewel had never mentioned moving our relationship out of the computer. Not even to the next small level of a phone call. It was a good thing, since there was no way I could sound like anything other than a woman.

"DrD Sir," jewel wrote.

"Yes jewel dear," I answered.

"I am going to be near you for a few days next month. Should I stop by for lunch?" The question threw me. I wanted desperately to meet her. All thoughts of The3Deacon were gone. My only problem was how to tell her I was a woman.

"Of course, I would love to meet you for lunch jewel. When will you be in town?" I wrote with both excitement and dread. Somehow before the visit I would have to confess. I would have done it at that moment except that the time just didn't seem right. She began a magicgame scene for me. I allowed her to weave me into the tapestry of her mind. It was a wonderful illusion about an old power dam in the south. Cool mist and warm sunshine brought the image to life. The touch of her hand was the touch of my husband before our marriage went all to hell. It was an utterly wonderful illusion for me to join her inside.

To her I was a man. Somehow in the illusion I could have been anyone. It was never graphic enough to be gender oriented. It was more a feeling than an action. It was wonderful to feel touches without anyone else around. It was the total mind-stimulated orgasm. The purest kind, mystical in nature and mind bending. One so gentle you weren't quite sure it had happened at all.

Jewel and I never spoke of lesbians since she thought I was a man. I decided, after a week of trying to tell her, to at least get her feelings on it.

"Jewel, have you ever thought about making love with another woman?"

"Why Dr.D is that something you would like to see?" I could tell she was smiling. "I would have no problem doing that for you. You must know by now Dr. there is nothing I wouldn't do for you." At that point I decided it was time to drop it.

The night before jewel was to leave on her trip, I tried again to tell her. It was so late by that time I decided just to let her find out when we met. I supposed there was nothing to be gained by telling her beforehand. Best that she just find out at a time when I could deal with it in person. I did not want to lose her.

Jewel was traveling the next day, so I did not see her on line. We had arranged to meet at the largest mall in my town for lunch. The restaurant was Italian and on an out parcel in the mall complex. I chose it so that she would not be likely to make a fuss when she noticed I was not a male.

I arrived fifteen minutes before the meeting. I sat at a table for two waiting for her to arrive. I wore the silly silk rose in the lapel of my blue blazer. I had told her to look for a person with a blue blazer and wearing a large red rose in the lapel. She would be looking for a man I knew. I might have to go out to pull in the first woman who looked lost. That should be quite a scene.

The time for our meeting came and went. The restaurant was not busy enough for me to have missed her. We had set the meeting time at an off hour so that the restaurant would be more or less empty. I sat with my third cup of coffee. It had gone from hot to tepid while I awaited jewel. I hardly noticed anyone at all, I was so intent on searching for jewel.

"Dr. Dementia I presume," the voice came from a giant of a man. Since I was seated, I know the perspective added an inch or two to his height. Still, he was tall and heavily boned. He wore a white beard under equally white hair. The white hair was an illusion. His face around the beard was absolutely smooth. He could have been no more than forty. Probably not even that.

"Yes, do you have a message for me?" I asked it thinking he might be a restaurant employee. He was dressed all wrong though, he wore cotton slacks complete with a faded blue work shirt.

"Well sort of," he replied. I waited for him to go on. "I am The3Deacon." He laughed out loud. It was not a nervous laugh at all. He laughed like a man who had all the answers.

"But Jewel?" I asked foolishly.

"My daughter," he replied. "She decided you really wanted to meet me."

the end/


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